“But I don’t want to give up anything.”
Abby Kate worried as we talked about Lent and the traditional practices that accompany the season, particularly sacrifice. It was tough to imagine life without her favorite things: electronics, toys, pizza and french fries. She was ready to give up peanut butter. She does not like or eat peanut butter.
In the spirit of Easter, we had some “good news” for Abby Kate: you don’t have to give up anything.
Jeff and I would not have set that expectation for her. Abby Kate has not yet asked Jesus into her heart. Also, she is only 11 years old and while I do not draw boundaries around a child’s faith choice or ability, I believe authentic Lenten sacrifice requires a degree of spiritual maturity. My daughters are not ready. Still, I want them to be mindful of Lent and to understand what it means.
Our family is working through “An Illustrated Lent for Families”, a packet our church provided that includes weekly scripture, reflection, and questions to spark conversation. The theme is “treasure.” At the dinner table the first week, Abby Kate and Lily were quick to name their favorite visible treasures. They had to think harder about invisible treasures but ultimately agreed on “memories” and “family.”
Memories and family are among my invisible treasures, too. They influence my list of visible treasures; things such as a wooden checkerboard from my Nanny Cunningham’s house, hymnals from the church where I grew up and holiday decorations my mom has passed on to me.
I cleaned our guest room not long after our family talk about treasure. As I dusted, I held a forgotten treasure (I don’t dust very often!) displayed on a bookshelf. It is a set of two brown boxes my Aunt Sue gave me 20 years ago to decorate my first on-my-own apartment. The top box is, appropriately for this writing, shaped like a treasure chest. Neither box has ever held visible treasure, but they are an example of those invisible treasures Abby Kate and Lily named: memories and family.
Faith is another of my invisible treasures – mine and my daddy’s. I have realized the impact of his faith in the 13 years since he died. His Bible may be as close to an actual treasure as I will ever get. It was discovered in November, tucked in a treasure chest of sorts, inside a time capsule my childhood church had kept closed for 20 years. Abby Kate and Lily were wide-eyed as I told them the story, much as I was when my mom texted me that the Bible I had been asking about was found.
I want my daughters to one day add faith to their treasure chest. It’s a legacy my daddy left to me, and now my privilege to model for my daughters. Our church’s invitation to Lent observances is wonderfully inclusive for our family this year, and I’m happy for all four of us to participate. 2020 forced a lot of loss, so instead of giving something up our pastor has encouraged us to add something good to the world. If Abby Kate wants to spread peanut butter that will be OK with me. Contrary to her opinion, I count peanut butter a joy.
What is kept in your treasure chest? Are you focused on the treasures you can touch or are you investing in invisible riches held only in your heart? Let Lent inspire you to answer those questions. Reflection is as valuable a spiritual discipline as sacrifice. Consider your faith roots. They may hint towards ways you want to shape your children’s relationship to God and the church.
These are three practices that join my faith foundation with my daughters:
- Give thanks before a meal. “God is great, God is good” may be the most familiar prayer children know. My brothers and I offered it many times around the dinner table. Abby Kate and Lily recite it now. Last week I asked them “What does the word ‘great’ mean to you in the context of this prayer?” Simple prayers can prompt meaningful discussion.
- Sign up to serve. I volunteered in the church nursery when I was still a kid myself. In our current church I have supervised nursery care during the early worship service. Abby Kate and Lily liked to stay with me to play with the toddlers and help care for the babies. They have also enjoyed our church’s ministry of assembling weekend snack packs for low-income students in a local school system. Pay attention to the enthusiasm your kids show when they serve. It will help them identify and hone their spiritual gifts.
- Attend a seasonal service. Jeff and I did not grow up in churches with Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday or Good Friday services. We experienced them after we were married and have decided they should be part of our family’s faith traditions. Tenebrae service two years ago literally brought me to tears as my daughters sat next to me. Let your children see the Spirit move you. It invites them to embrace the power of faith.
Traditions are treasures, the ones we carry on and the ones we create. When we honor them, they grow into beautiful gifts for our children and their children, in both visible and invisible ways.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21
