To Celebrate Abby Kate

I have written this story 100 times in my head. I’ve never written it out loud.

I’ve barely spoken it.

How God led us to the house we built because He knew we needed Creekside Elementary School.

How Creekside Elementary School established a sensory room in its Special Education department the very year Abby Kate enrolled.

How the sensory room, and the teacher in charge of it, made it possible for Abby Kate to not only finish elementary school but to flourish while she was there.

Abby Kate finished fifth grade on May 1st. The year did not end as I hoped.

She was robbed of a lot of lasts. 

Field Day. Awards Day. An actual last day.

But Abby Kate’s elementary school days didn’t start as I expected either.

Heartbreaking Behavior Charts.
Wearying Parent/Teacher Talks.
Overwhelming IEP Procedures.

I have a picture of her, taken September 6, 2015. She’d been in Kindergarten for a month.

“We’ve had a hard week,” the Facebook caption reads. “Today we twirl in the rain.”

I remember that Friday. I was waiting on the school bus to arrive so we could drive to Birmingham to visit my mom for a three-day weekend. My phone rang and it was Abby Kate’s teacher.   

I recall only one comment from that conversation:

“She doesn’t have to be here, you know,” the teacher said.

She wasn’t mean. She wasn’t rude. There was never a question whether she wanted Abby Kate in her classroom.

I think she was extending solace.

Abby Kate was 5 years old and, with a May birthday, she was a young 5.

She didn’t have to be there.

Except she did. 

Abby Kate met or exceeded academic benchmarks. But she was struggling, inexplicably in my and Jeff’s eyes, with appropriate social behaviors.

I was called to the school a lot.

A lot.

The pivotal phone call, ironically, began with “Abby Kate is fine…”

There’s always a “but.”

Abby Kate had run, entirely by accident, into a wall. She bumped her head and a knot had swollen near her hairline.  The nurse believed she was fine.

But…

I went to the school. Just in case.

Of course, Abby Kate was fine.  So, my talk with the assistant principal turned to the next day’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting for Abby Kate’s speech articulation.

If I had other questions, Mrs. Adams said, this meeting would be my opportunity.

Seven of us crowded into a tiny room the next day to discuss Abby Kate’s speech needs.

At the end of the meeting, when asked if I had questions, I could barely choke out the words.

“Something’s not right…” I trailed off.

I was crying. Her teacher was crying.

Our tears did not fall on deaf ears.

When the observations and evaluations were finally (finally!) complete (it took months!) we gathered in a slightly larger room to set a plan in place.

I will never, ever forget Mrs. Adams’ words.

“She’s going to be fine,” she said.

I believed her with my whole heart.

And she was right.

Abby Kate’s Kindergarten start is summed up in an envelope, filled with 5×7 behavior charts. There’s a lot of red on those charts.

A lot.

Her 5^th grade finish is full of accolades: A/B Honor Roll, Jr. Beta Club, Superhero Award, Creekside Chief Leader, Scholars Bowl, Drama Club.

She’s worked hard. And she’s earned every one.

Abby Kate will carry her IEP into middle school. She will carry Creekside through life.

I owe a great debt to the teachers, administrators and aides who have instructed, advocated and, above all, loved her well.

There is a Bible verse I pray for Abby Kate. It is a familiar scripture. I hold onto it tight because I believe it to be true for her in ways I don’t yet know.

“I praise you because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made… all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” (Psalm 139: 14, 16)

Not a single step in Abby Kate’s journey has caught our God off guard. He delights in the details of our lives. If we look closely, we can see Him connecting dots to direct our steps.

Abby Kate has a lot of life in her, and a lot of life ahead of her. 

Her story is still to be written, but not by me.

Abby Kate is the one who will write it. And I have no doubt she will write it out loud.

(Psalm 139. All of it.)