If you could give one piece of advice to a student at the start of this school year, what would you tell them?
My mother will be surprised to co-star in this story (Hi, Mom!) for a couple of reasons. First, she leaned on daddy to lead us. Also, she probably doesn’t remember the phone call I’m about to tell you about.
I did not date in high school. At all. Not even once. My senior prom date was a boy named Skip who I’d known my whole life. My social life, or lack of, is a story for another day except to say it changed when I moved away to college.
Within my first week of classes at Troy State University in 1995, several boys seemed to like me, from chatting me up to straight out asking me on a date. I called my mom on her company’s toll-free phone number (we didn’t have cell phones back then and long-distance calls, as my daddy so often reminded me, cost too much money.) With surprise and apprehension in my voice, I told mom about all the boys and that I didn’t know who I liked or what I should do. Mom, however, knew exactly what I should do.
“Go out with every one of them,” she said.
I did not expect her to say that, though I figured out pretty quickly what she meant. Dating boys, and maybe lots of them, was the only way I was going to find “the one.” (Spoiler alert: I didn’t meet “the one” for another 10 years.)
“Date them all!” is not the advice I’d offer to a college kid today, and now I see why mom leaned on daddy to lead us.
Daddy mailed a lot of letters to me through my college years. One of the wisest things he said to me is written in a letter not at the start of freshman year but at the end. I had applied to be a Trojan Ambassador; these were students who hosted campus events, helped with recruitment and gave tours to prospective students and their parents. I didn’t feel I’d answered well in the interview and braced for rejection. I was legitimately shocked when I opened the envelope with the list of Ambassadors inside. My name was next to last, but it was on the list.
Daddy was bursting with pride when I called to tell him I was selected. He sent me a card of congratulations and included this gentle reminder:
“God is putting you in places to be a witness for Him.”
Daddy was always pointing me to God and still is. His words resonate both in my personal pursuits and through my parenting.
Lily was selected for the middle school cheer squad last spring. I’m still marveling at the reality that my back-row-baby is a cheerleader. Lily has never sought the spotlight, she usually prefers to keep quiet, so when she told me she wanted to try-out I had my doubts.
She practiced hard and constant at home. If she asked my opinion (I also cheered in middle school) I obliged but mostly I kept quiet (I wasn’t good enough to make the high school squad.) My contribution was not to coach her. My part in her try-out was to pray. So I prayed the clearest thing I could think of, and I shared it with Lily:
“I am praying that if being a cheerleader can develop you into a leader at East and put you in a position to be a positive influence, that you will make it.”
While I don’t believe God is in the bargaining business, I want to honor the intention of my prayer and help Lily grow into a leader. So, I tell her the same thing my daddy told me:
“God is putting you in places to be a witness for Him.”
“Witness” is a church word I grew up with. I don’t know that it holds the same weight or worth in today’s world. This is what it means to me now and what I want Lily and Abby Kate to consider when God puts them in places to be a witness for Him:
Are they honoring the talents He’s given?
Are they showing kindness and helping people?
Are they giving Him generous and sincere thanks?
One of the most popular scriptures offered to students, especially at the start of a new stage, is Proverbs 3:5-6.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)
Yes, God can guide our way to places where we can be a witness for Him, but He’s not supposed to do all the work. We have a calling, too.
Trust Him.
Lean on Him.
Acknowledge Him.
Whether they are first string on the football field or sitting next to the new kid at the lunchroom table, we can teach our kids to honor God in the places where He leads them. It’s what my daddy did for me and what I want to pass on to my daughters.
As for my mom, well, I’ll amend her words and say to my girls, “Get to know a lot of different people. You never know who you might meet.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6)
New King James Version